[permissions]
Feb. 13th, 2016 12:54 am★ Out of character
☆ BACKTAGGING: Yes.
☆ THREADHOPPING: Sure
☆ FOURTHWALLING: Yes
☆ DO NOT WANT: ehhhhh, idk, I'll update this? but idc do whatever as long as it doesn't irreversibly break my character.
★ FORCE POWERS
☆ Okay, so Kylo has two Force abilities that are going to need some delicate handling: Force sense and mind probe
☆ Force Sense is basically picking up on basic emotions a person has.
☆ Mind probe...is what is says on the tin. Kylo goes past the basic emotions and goes poking through people's thoughts and memories to grab information. It's very painful. (note: he does not go around doing this to random people.)
So, leave a comment to let me know whether or not Kylo can do his Force thing at your characters. (Mostly for the former because I don't plan on doing the latter power much if at all in game.)
☆ BACKTAGGING: Yes.
☆ THREADHOPPING: Sure
☆ FOURTHWALLING: Yes
☆ DO NOT WANT: ehhhhh, idk, I'll update this? but idc do whatever as long as it doesn't irreversibly break my character.
★ FORCE POWERS
☆ Okay, so Kylo has two Force abilities that are going to need some delicate handling: Force sense and mind probe
☆ Force Sense is basically picking up on basic emotions a person has.
☆ Mind probe...is what is says on the tin. Kylo goes past the basic emotions and goes poking through people's thoughts and memories to grab information. It's very painful. (note: he does not go around doing this to random people.)
So, leave a comment to let me know whether or not Kylo can do his Force thing at your characters. (Mostly for the former because I don't plan on doing the latter power much if at all in game.)
tushanshu app
Jan. 19th, 2016 11:52 pmPlayer Information:
Name: Hawk
Age/18+?: 26
Contact:
xanatosgambit
solutionbeta
Other Characters Played: N/A
Most Recent AC Link: N/A
Character Information:
Name: Kylo Ren (Ben Solo)
Canon: Star Wars
Canon Point: end of the Force Awakens
Age: 30
Type of Character: Canon
Reference: Kylo Ren on Wookieepedia
Setting Concepts: "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away."
Star Wars takes place across an entire galaxy spanning around 100,000 light-years in diameter. There's thousands upon thousands of years of history (most of which is no longer canon, thank you so much Disney), but it can basically be boiled down to "the story repeats itself multiple times in really sad ways". There are many different races that populate the galaxy (mostly humanoid in some way, but that's been changing), but the most numerous are humans.
The Force: An energy present in nearly all living beings (droids don't really count), but only a few are able to access it to use its power for their own advantage. The Force tends to be split between the Light Side and the Dark Side among users. Historically, Force users have been known as the Jedi (users of the Light Side) or the Sith (users of the Dark Side), but the distinction has gotten blurry since the destruction of the Jedi Order and the Sith being wiped out.
The Jedi: Once known as heroes and peacekeepers of the Republic that used the Force and wield lightsabers, the Jedi now are not much more than legends of a time past. Luke Skywalker tried to rebuild the Jedi Order, but his attempt was destroyed by Kylo Ren, his nephew and apprentice who fell to the dark side and murdered his fellow apprentices. The Jedi were known for their practices of not having any connections and trying to distance themselves from emotion to keep themselves from falling to the dark side, as the Jedi were practitioners of the light side of the Force.
The Sith: The opposite of the Jedi in practice, they were known mostly thanks to the actions of Darth Sidious (the now deceased Emperor Palpatine) and his many apprentices, most notably of them Darth Vader. With the deaths of both Sidious and Vader, the Sith are no longer around, though their legacy lives on.
The New Republic: A democratic parliamentary government that was built from the Rebel Alliance thirty years ago, it's trying to rebuild the galaxy after the defeat of the Empire. They have a rotating capital, moving the senate to a different planet and system instead of having one like the Empire once had. As of the end of the movie, the Republic's current homeworld is destroyed, along with most of its fleet.
The First Order: Created from the ashes of the Galactic Empire, the First Order has been biding their time and building up their strength in the distant edges of the galaxy where the Republic didn't tread. The First Order has looked at the mistakes of the Empire and has done some things differently.
Anakin Skywalker: The catalyst for pretty much the entire franchise. Born a slave on the desert planet Tatooine, Anakin was found by Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, who believed him to be the Chosen One who would bring balance to the Force. Anakin eventually fell to the Dark Side and became the Sith Lord Darth Vader thanks to some manipulation by Darth Sidious. Also the father of Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, who he didn't know existed because he was told his children died in childbirth. And he only though that a singular child was conceived instead of twins because plot twist.
Personality: Kylo Ren appears at first to be someone like Darth Vader, intimidating with little emotion and cruelty that is only tempered by the fact that killing everyone around him is foolish. That appearance falls apart rather quickly whenever he interacts with other people, namely General Hux of the First Order (who is the closest to his equal in the organization), as it tends to devolve into something similar to two children fighting for the attention of their father. Even then, he tries to keep himself controlled in some way, usually by keeping his voice from showing any emotions since his face is usually covered by a mask. When he does slip, he tends to be very sardonic and unable to keep back biting or sarcastic comments about the current circumstances or the people around him.
Kylo, in general, is an emotional mess. Having grown up not only in the shadows of his war hero parents, but also having Snoke manipulating him for the entirety of his childhood, has not left him with any sort of stability. He's quick to anger and with his power and a lightsaber that means things get destroyed very quickly, but unlike the man he emulates, he does not kill the people under his command for failures. This does mean that he appears more like a child having a tantrum than the very upset thirty year old man that he is. He's been torn between dark and light for a very long time and has no concept of any sort of balance, believing that going completely dark will solve all his problems. Even though Kylo firmly believes that submitting completely to the dark is what he should do, Snoke has other plans and instead wants him to be a balance of dark and light, though without the connections that his grandfather and uncle had that would pull him one way or the other.
His family is his major source of emotional conflict within him. Being the son of Leia Organa means that he carries the legacy of the Skywalkers before him, which could be both good and bad. As things stand now, he's compared to his grandfather, Anakin Skywaker (who became the Sith Lord Darth Vader), something that Kylo himself would be happy about. Some part of Kylo does love his family, but it's tempered by Leia sending him off with Luke for Jedi training and his belief that Han was never around for him, not to mention Snoke telling him who knows what about his family to make him think that killing both his father and his uncle are really good ideas. Kylo's obsession with his grandfather most likely stems to the fact that he was actively compared to Vader by his family as a child and with the help of Snoke manipulating the kid, saw him as someone he should be proud to emulate, as even before he fell to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi Knight and the supposed Chosen One. What kid, even one from a family full of heroes as Kylo's, would not want to be like that especially when you're being compared to the guy already? Even after Kylo's grown up, Darth Vader's an inspiration to him and someone he wishes to speak to for guidance because they're alike in some ways and Kylo wants some proper help and not just whatever Snoke feels like tossing his way. The job he talks about finishing with Vader's melted helmet doesn't appear to be galactic conquest, either, but rather the elimination of Jedi and all they stand for.
His devotion to the dark comes from observation of his parents fueled by Snoke's internal commentary. From what can be figured, Han wasn't around much and if he wasn't, he was probably doing his bantering with Leia, which isn't really what a young kid needs to deal with because those two can go at it. Then there's Leia, who was trying to do what was best for her son, but sent him away to train with his uncle, because for the record, having a dad who isn't around and a mom who sends you off with a relative for the rest of your childhood is really tough on a kid, especially a ten year old like Kylo was. Through this and his time with Luke, it formed in his head that the light side was made of abandonment in the pursuit of a nebulous "good" that might not actually be worth it. Snoke's the only person in his life to not noticeably think negatively about him. His entire family did, thinking he was going to fall to the dark side and were afraid and worried for what state their son was in. Which means that Snoke is pretty high on the list of "senpai notice me" that Kylo has (it's a very small list with a "rey-kouhai let me be your sensei so I can teach you the ways of the Force properly and not like that dumb old man would" scrawled on the bottom). When mentioning earlier that kids fighting over their dad's attention thing, it's really true. Kylo has daddy issues like nobody's business and Snoke can be seen as not quite a father figure, but a mentor who looks out for him, which is something he really hasn't had in his life. It isn't approval he needs so much as acceptance that he chose this - however much of it was actually his own choice, anyway.
Many of his struggles come from the light that refuses to fade in him, a light that takes the form of intense doubt. Doubt that he's doing the right thing, doubt that he did the right thing, doubt that he can actually live up to a legacy like his grandfather's, that he should be with his family, fighting the First Order because they're the Empire returning. Killing his father, not surprisingly, did not make things better and instead made things worse for his mental state. He thought that this act would cut off his connection to the Light and therefore make him as strong or even stronger than Darth Vader. Instead it created a conflict within him as he did not hate his father and killing him only made him falter on his path to the dark side. This also completely shattered the image he tried to cultivate, his emotions becoming more obvious as he no longer keeps his voice in check and threw caution to the wind, unable to fully cope with his actions and then his loss to Rey.
tl;dr:
Appearance: This with a scar cutting across his face diagonally.
Abilities: Kylo, having been around the First Order for a while, has had some training in military command. He also has the Skywalker knack for fixing and building things, having made his own lightsaber from scratch. Having trained as a Jedi for five years, he is well versed in meditation and lightsaber combat, though to what extent his combat skills actually are is unknown since his only shown battle is while he's heavily injured and emotionally compromised.
Force Powers: Unlike most Dark Side users, Kylo tends to use the Force for more defensive tactics than offensive skills. He has the basic passive abilities of sensing other Force users, disturbances in the Force, and enhanced reflexes that the Force gives its users.
-Telekinesis: The most basic active Force skill, Kylo usually uses it to stop others in their tracks and freeze blaster bolts in midair. He also uses Force Push, which is basically throwing people around with the Force.
-Mind Probe: Kylo is able to use the Force to read a person's mind and gain information that normal interrogation could not gather. Reading a person's mind could be anything from sensing a person's emotions all the way up to seeing actual memories a person has. Other competent Force users can interfere with this ability, outright block it, or turn it back onto Kylo himself. He can also use this ability to knock a person unconscious. (Note: A permissions post will be put up for this)
Inventory: Just the clothes he's wearing.
Soul Gem: Red and blue cracked kyber crystal-like gem set in a leather necklace.
Writing Samples:
Third Person: The cold hit him like a smack to the face as he exited the base proper out to the planet's surface with snowtroopers in his wake. TIE fighters screamed high above in the sky, doing their best to take down the Resistance's X-Wings before they could damage the planet-sized weapon. None of that was as importance as the familiar flicker through the Force that he had felt on Takodana and before that, long ago when he was still but a child, unaware of his true destiny.
Han Solo.
"Sir, we've located a ship nearby. Shall we investigate?" A trooper had come up to his side and Kylo turned his head towards him. Would this one be another FN-2187? No, with the way Hux had scoured through his precious stormtrooper program, that wouldn't be much of a problem in the future. Not that this would stop Kylo from bringing it up.
"We'll be investigating the ship," he confirmed and that sent the troopers into action, heading in the direction of the ship with Kylo following them and keeping up the pace with long, quick strides despite the weather around him.
When they got to the ship, it was all he could do to keep himself from pausing at the sight of it. It was as he had feared--no, as he had sensed. In front of his was the Millennium Falcon, in all of whatever glory she still had to her name. Without missing a beat, he turned his attention back to the snowtroopers.
"Search the ship and make sure you don't miss any hidden compartments," he ordered, his voice still unreasonably calm despite his past staring him in the face. Thankfully, the troopers didn't know that and went up the ramp into the ship, Kylo following not too far behind.
He strode through the ship, barely passing a glance at familiar things, the well used dejarik table, the gunner seats that he used to play around in. Once he hit the cockpit, Kylo sat down in the pilot's seat and took everything in. It was here that he could feel it, the Light calling out to him as if to ask him why he turned his back on it. His hands closed into fists and it took all his restraint to keep himself from taking out his lightsaber and destroying the ship's consoles and thankfully, his conflict was interrupted by a snowtrooper stomping up behind him.
"We've just got word from command that the shield is down and the Resistance pilots are bombing the surface."
Kylo stood up in a whirl of cloak and he turned to the trooper. "Then it's our job to take care of those on the surface. Leave the ship, it's of no importance to us. Once we take care of those traitors, we'll dispose of this scrap pile properly."
The trooper left to relay Kylo's orders to the others and he took a moment to glance at the controls before leaving the ship to find not only those that had arrived on the Falcon, but also the scavenger who had escaped.
I will find Han Solo and when I do, I'll kill him and destroy the Light once and for all.
Network: I've made a discovery about the soul gems that we possess. While they may take on the appearance of different gems or crystals, they aren't what they appear to be.
Take my soul gem, for example. While it may look like a kyber crystal, it is in fact not. I decided to test it in a rudimentary lightsaber hilt I built, ineffective for proper combat but would work to test the crystal, and I had previously tested the power cell, so I knew that was functional. I tried it multiple times and even did some...maintenance on the hilt itself, but nothing happened.
I would ask for volunteers to assist me in this experiment, but I highly doubt anyone would allow me to use their soul gem to power a lightsaber.
So for now, I must ask if anyone has seen a real kyber crystal so that I may have a weapon to protect myself.
Name: Hawk
Age/18+?: 26
Contact:
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Other Characters Played: N/A
Most Recent AC Link: N/A
Character Information:
Name: Kylo Ren (Ben Solo)
Canon: Star Wars
Canon Point: end of the Force Awakens
Age: 30
Type of Character: Canon
Reference: Kylo Ren on Wookieepedia
Setting Concepts: "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away."
Star Wars takes place across an entire galaxy spanning around 100,000 light-years in diameter. There's thousands upon thousands of years of history (most of which is no longer canon, thank you so much Disney), but it can basically be boiled down to "the story repeats itself multiple times in really sad ways". There are many different races that populate the galaxy (mostly humanoid in some way, but that's been changing), but the most numerous are humans.
The Force: An energy present in nearly all living beings (droids don't really count), but only a few are able to access it to use its power for their own advantage. The Force tends to be split between the Light Side and the Dark Side among users. Historically, Force users have been known as the Jedi (users of the Light Side) or the Sith (users of the Dark Side), but the distinction has gotten blurry since the destruction of the Jedi Order and the Sith being wiped out.
The Jedi: Once known as heroes and peacekeepers of the Republic that used the Force and wield lightsabers, the Jedi now are not much more than legends of a time past. Luke Skywalker tried to rebuild the Jedi Order, but his attempt was destroyed by Kylo Ren, his nephew and apprentice who fell to the dark side and murdered his fellow apprentices. The Jedi were known for their practices of not having any connections and trying to distance themselves from emotion to keep themselves from falling to the dark side, as the Jedi were practitioners of the light side of the Force.
The Sith: The opposite of the Jedi in practice, they were known mostly thanks to the actions of Darth Sidious (the now deceased Emperor Palpatine) and his many apprentices, most notably of them Darth Vader. With the deaths of both Sidious and Vader, the Sith are no longer around, though their legacy lives on.
The New Republic: A democratic parliamentary government that was built from the Rebel Alliance thirty years ago, it's trying to rebuild the galaxy after the defeat of the Empire. They have a rotating capital, moving the senate to a different planet and system instead of having one like the Empire once had. As of the end of the movie, the Republic's current homeworld is destroyed, along with most of its fleet.
The First Order: Created from the ashes of the Galactic Empire, the First Order has been biding their time and building up their strength in the distant edges of the galaxy where the Republic didn't tread. The First Order has looked at the mistakes of the Empire and has done some things differently.
Anakin Skywalker: The catalyst for pretty much the entire franchise. Born a slave on the desert planet Tatooine, Anakin was found by Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, who believed him to be the Chosen One who would bring balance to the Force. Anakin eventually fell to the Dark Side and became the Sith Lord Darth Vader thanks to some manipulation by Darth Sidious. Also the father of Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa, who he didn't know existed because he was told his children died in childbirth. And he only though that a singular child was conceived instead of twins because plot twist.
Personality: Kylo Ren appears at first to be someone like Darth Vader, intimidating with little emotion and cruelty that is only tempered by the fact that killing everyone around him is foolish. That appearance falls apart rather quickly whenever he interacts with other people, namely General Hux of the First Order (who is the closest to his equal in the organization), as it tends to devolve into something similar to two children fighting for the attention of their father. Even then, he tries to keep himself controlled in some way, usually by keeping his voice from showing any emotions since his face is usually covered by a mask. When he does slip, he tends to be very sardonic and unable to keep back biting or sarcastic comments about the current circumstances or the people around him.
Kylo, in general, is an emotional mess. Having grown up not only in the shadows of his war hero parents, but also having Snoke manipulating him for the entirety of his childhood, has not left him with any sort of stability. He's quick to anger and with his power and a lightsaber that means things get destroyed very quickly, but unlike the man he emulates, he does not kill the people under his command for failures. This does mean that he appears more like a child having a tantrum than the very upset thirty year old man that he is. He's been torn between dark and light for a very long time and has no concept of any sort of balance, believing that going completely dark will solve all his problems. Even though Kylo firmly believes that submitting completely to the dark is what he should do, Snoke has other plans and instead wants him to be a balance of dark and light, though without the connections that his grandfather and uncle had that would pull him one way or the other.
His family is his major source of emotional conflict within him. Being the son of Leia Organa means that he carries the legacy of the Skywalkers before him, which could be both good and bad. As things stand now, he's compared to his grandfather, Anakin Skywaker (who became the Sith Lord Darth Vader), something that Kylo himself would be happy about. Some part of Kylo does love his family, but it's tempered by Leia sending him off with Luke for Jedi training and his belief that Han was never around for him, not to mention Snoke telling him who knows what about his family to make him think that killing both his father and his uncle are really good ideas. Kylo's obsession with his grandfather most likely stems to the fact that he was actively compared to Vader by his family as a child and with the help of Snoke manipulating the kid, saw him as someone he should be proud to emulate, as even before he fell to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker was a Jedi Knight and the supposed Chosen One. What kid, even one from a family full of heroes as Kylo's, would not want to be like that especially when you're being compared to the guy already? Even after Kylo's grown up, Darth Vader's an inspiration to him and someone he wishes to speak to for guidance because they're alike in some ways and Kylo wants some proper help and not just whatever Snoke feels like tossing his way. The job he talks about finishing with Vader's melted helmet doesn't appear to be galactic conquest, either, but rather the elimination of Jedi and all they stand for.
His devotion to the dark comes from observation of his parents fueled by Snoke's internal commentary. From what can be figured, Han wasn't around much and if he wasn't, he was probably doing his bantering with Leia, which isn't really what a young kid needs to deal with because those two can go at it. Then there's Leia, who was trying to do what was best for her son, but sent him away to train with his uncle, because for the record, having a dad who isn't around and a mom who sends you off with a relative for the rest of your childhood is really tough on a kid, especially a ten year old like Kylo was. Through this and his time with Luke, it formed in his head that the light side was made of abandonment in the pursuit of a nebulous "good" that might not actually be worth it. Snoke's the only person in his life to not noticeably think negatively about him. His entire family did, thinking he was going to fall to the dark side and were afraid and worried for what state their son was in. Which means that Snoke is pretty high on the list of "senpai notice me" that Kylo has (it's a very small list with a "rey-kouhai let me be your sensei so I can teach you the ways of the Force properly and not like that dumb old man would" scrawled on the bottom). When mentioning earlier that kids fighting over their dad's attention thing, it's really true. Kylo has daddy issues like nobody's business and Snoke can be seen as not quite a father figure, but a mentor who looks out for him, which is something he really hasn't had in his life. It isn't approval he needs so much as acceptance that he chose this - however much of it was actually his own choice, anyway.
Many of his struggles come from the light that refuses to fade in him, a light that takes the form of intense doubt. Doubt that he's doing the right thing, doubt that he did the right thing, doubt that he can actually live up to a legacy like his grandfather's, that he should be with his family, fighting the First Order because they're the Empire returning. Killing his father, not surprisingly, did not make things better and instead made things worse for his mental state. He thought that this act would cut off his connection to the Light and therefore make him as strong or even stronger than Darth Vader. Instead it created a conflict within him as he did not hate his father and killing him only made him falter on his path to the dark side. This also completely shattered the image he tried to cultivate, his emotions becoming more obvious as he no longer keeps his voice in check and threw caution to the wind, unable to fully cope with his actions and then his loss to Rey.
tl;dr:

Appearance: This with a scar cutting across his face diagonally.
Abilities: Kylo, having been around the First Order for a while, has had some training in military command. He also has the Skywalker knack for fixing and building things, having made his own lightsaber from scratch. Having trained as a Jedi for five years, he is well versed in meditation and lightsaber combat, though to what extent his combat skills actually are is unknown since his only shown battle is while he's heavily injured and emotionally compromised.
Force Powers: Unlike most Dark Side users, Kylo tends to use the Force for more defensive tactics than offensive skills. He has the basic passive abilities of sensing other Force users, disturbances in the Force, and enhanced reflexes that the Force gives its users.
-Telekinesis: The most basic active Force skill, Kylo usually uses it to stop others in their tracks and freeze blaster bolts in midair. He also uses Force Push, which is basically throwing people around with the Force.
-Mind Probe: Kylo is able to use the Force to read a person's mind and gain information that normal interrogation could not gather. Reading a person's mind could be anything from sensing a person's emotions all the way up to seeing actual memories a person has. Other competent Force users can interfere with this ability, outright block it, or turn it back onto Kylo himself. He can also use this ability to knock a person unconscious. (Note: A permissions post will be put up for this)
Inventory: Just the clothes he's wearing.
Soul Gem: Red and blue cracked kyber crystal-like gem set in a leather necklace.
Writing Samples:
Third Person: The cold hit him like a smack to the face as he exited the base proper out to the planet's surface with snowtroopers in his wake. TIE fighters screamed high above in the sky, doing their best to take down the Resistance's X-Wings before they could damage the planet-sized weapon. None of that was as importance as the familiar flicker through the Force that he had felt on Takodana and before that, long ago when he was still but a child, unaware of his true destiny.
Han Solo.
"Sir, we've located a ship nearby. Shall we investigate?" A trooper had come up to his side and Kylo turned his head towards him. Would this one be another FN-2187? No, with the way Hux had scoured through his precious stormtrooper program, that wouldn't be much of a problem in the future. Not that this would stop Kylo from bringing it up.
"We'll be investigating the ship," he confirmed and that sent the troopers into action, heading in the direction of the ship with Kylo following them and keeping up the pace with long, quick strides despite the weather around him.
When they got to the ship, it was all he could do to keep himself from pausing at the sight of it. It was as he had feared--no, as he had sensed. In front of his was the Millennium Falcon, in all of whatever glory she still had to her name. Without missing a beat, he turned his attention back to the snowtroopers.
"Search the ship and make sure you don't miss any hidden compartments," he ordered, his voice still unreasonably calm despite his past staring him in the face. Thankfully, the troopers didn't know that and went up the ramp into the ship, Kylo following not too far behind.
He strode through the ship, barely passing a glance at familiar things, the well used dejarik table, the gunner seats that he used to play around in. Once he hit the cockpit, Kylo sat down in the pilot's seat and took everything in. It was here that he could feel it, the Light calling out to him as if to ask him why he turned his back on it. His hands closed into fists and it took all his restraint to keep himself from taking out his lightsaber and destroying the ship's consoles and thankfully, his conflict was interrupted by a snowtrooper stomping up behind him.
"We've just got word from command that the shield is down and the Resistance pilots are bombing the surface."
Kylo stood up in a whirl of cloak and he turned to the trooper. "Then it's our job to take care of those on the surface. Leave the ship, it's of no importance to us. Once we take care of those traitors, we'll dispose of this scrap pile properly."
The trooper left to relay Kylo's orders to the others and he took a moment to glance at the controls before leaving the ship to find not only those that had arrived on the Falcon, but also the scavenger who had escaped.
I will find Han Solo and when I do, I'll kill him and destroy the Light once and for all.
Network: I've made a discovery about the soul gems that we possess. While they may take on the appearance of different gems or crystals, they aren't what they appear to be.
Take my soul gem, for example. While it may look like a kyber crystal, it is in fact not. I decided to test it in a rudimentary lightsaber hilt I built, ineffective for proper combat but would work to test the crystal, and I had previously tested the power cell, so I knew that was functional. I tried it multiple times and even did some...maintenance on the hilt itself, but nothing happened.
I would ask for volunteers to assist me in this experiment, but I highly doubt anyone would allow me to use their soul gem to power a lightsaber.
So for now, I must ask if anyone has seen a real kyber crystal so that I may have a weapon to protect myself.